I’ve always believed that before we can truly understand other people, we have to understand ourselves first.

What hurts us.
What we’re afraid of.
Why certain words make us angry.
Why we interpret someone’s behavior as rejection.

If we never take the time to understand those things, it becomes very easy to decide,
“They’re the problem.”

And once we do that,
we can end up going around in circles,
never really moving forward.

When you feel like someone has rejected you,
did they actually reject you?

Of course, sometimes they really do.

I’ve felt rejected many times myself.

But there is a difference between “I was rejected”
and “I felt rejected.”

Those two things are not always the same.

Being able to recognize that difference can completely change the way we understand other people.

And understanding someone doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say or do.

You can disagree.

You can still not understand them completely.

But you can pause for a moment and ask yourself,

“Why does this person see things this way?”

That simple willingness to look beyond your own perspective can change an entire relationship.

Being intelligent doesn’t automatically mean you understand people.

Having knowledge and having the ability to understand someone’s heart are two completely different things.

Sometimes what matters most is the ability to put your own perspective aside for a moment and genuinely try to see the world through someone else’s eyes.

And this becomes especially important in love.

“There’s no need to say it. You should already know.”

Maybe those are some of the most dangerous words in a close relationship.

You don’t understand how he feels.

You don’t understand how she feels.

So you think,
“Maybe this relationship just isn’t going to work.”

But is that really the truth?

Maybe they’re thinking about you more than you realize.

Maybe they simply don’t know how to put their feelings into words.

Maybe they’re afraid to say what they really feel.

Maybe they’re staying quiet because they don’t want to hurt you.

And maybe you’re doing the exact same thing.

That’s why I don’t want people to give up on communication halfway through.

Silence isn’t always kindness.

Not saying anything isn’t always the right thing to do.

Sometimes, the feelings we never express become invisible to the person we wanted to reach.

And perhaps the most frightening thing of all is this:

Not realizing that you’re hurting someone while believing that you’re doing nothing wrong.

When we don’t understand ourselves,
it becomes much harder to truly understand someone else.

That’s why I believe that whether it’s love or any other relationship,
the first person we may need to face isn’t the person standing in front of us.

It might be ourselves.

Know yourself.

Understand your emotions.

Understand your weaknesses.

And only then can you begin to truly imagine what might be happening inside someone else’s heart.

Instead of saying,
“I don’t understand,”

ask yourself,

“Can I try to understand?”

As long as that feeling still exists,
there is still room for two people to sit down,
talk,
and find their way back to each other.

And while you’re thinking,

“They don’t care about me anymore,”

there’s a chance that, at that very moment,

they may be thinking about you more than you could ever imagine.

心晴れるまで

土屋梨沙